Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize