you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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