I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
