Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
