I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
