my phone needs a breathalizer
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
