he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
