Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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