I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
