no, he came in my armpit
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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