i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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