it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
