every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
