i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
