Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
