a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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