Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
