wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
