i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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