just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
