Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
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do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
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How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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