foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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