I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
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Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
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I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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