i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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