He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
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Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
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You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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