She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
What a dumb baby whore.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
