A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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