Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
