Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize