real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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