thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
