did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
