My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
