he thought i was a dude.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
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