The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
