i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
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No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
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I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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