he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize