I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize