Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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