So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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