I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize