You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
