Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
