How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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