he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
