Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
