you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
