I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
