I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
