Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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