WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
