Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
