After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
