He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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