Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
