Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
