So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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