Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize