I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize