we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
