You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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