Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
