We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
