You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
