I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!