5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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