Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My dick has a subreddit
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...