I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
