i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
